Beef the Meaty
Beef the Meaty is a Level 2 Fighter with Neutral alignment
Played By
Stats
Vitals
| Born | September 35th 951 AC |
|---|---|
| Deceased | - |
| Age | 49 |
| HP | 13 |
| Armor Class | 11 |
| Attack Bonus | 0 |
| Experience Points | 2,000 |
| Gold Pieces | 127 |
| Lifestyle | Lower Common |
Ability Scores
| STR | 13 |
|---|---|
| INT | 5 |
| WIS | 8 |
| DEX | 11 |
| CON | 10 |
| CHA | 7 |
Saving Throws
| Death | 12 |
|---|---|
| Wands | 13 |
| Paralysis | 14 |
| Breath Attacks | 15 |
| Spells | 16 |
| Wisdom Modifier to Saves vs Magic | -1 |
Tales of Adventure
Year 1000 After Crowning
March 28th - 35th
Arrived at Castallan Keep between March 28th 1000 AC and March 35th 1000 AC. His specialty meat pie bakery has recently gone out of business due to the sweeping popularity of Quiche in his local village. Left with only the clothes, his baker’s apron, a rolling pin and cast iron skillet he set out in search of adventure.
March 35th
Beef joined Adventuring Party 4 on March 35th 1000 AC for a raid on Cave D in an effort to retrieve the remains of Bertram Swinney. Beef, inexperienced in close quarters combat, found it difficult to wield the weapons of his chosen profession, but surprised everyone when he brained a goblin from a distance of 10 feet by throwing his iron skillet.
Beef was the only party member to have been injured during the adventure.
March 35th - April 28th
Between March 35th 1000 AC and April 28th 1000 AC Beef remained in the keep and began to practice his trade of baking meat pies. Earning just enough to keep up with his weekly cost of living.
His meat pies became quite popular among residents and those passing through. However, one young adventurer named Conrad, who is constantly changing is hair (possibly wearing wigs) and always wears gloves, has started to complain that Beef's skill is limited to only meat pies and he longs for something more fashionable.
Beef briefly considered over spicing his next order, but decided that he would never compromise his art. Instead he publicly insulted Conrad. The exchange between the two became heated and a few patrons intervened and sent Conrad on his way. The patrons mentioned that Conrad has been known to interact with Silver Eyes. They register Beef’s confusion and say, “You know… the side-eyes.” and they made a gesture with their hands like they were imitating an owl. When it still doesn’t register, they give up and go back to enjoying their meals.
April 28th
On April 28th 1000 AC Olga Volgamoore and Beef decide to ask around about The Wizard's Tower. They converse at the shop of the merchant who has been attempting to broker a deal for the sword Olga and Beatrix Knibbs. The merchant confirms that everyone he knows that has set out there has not returned, but considers maybe it is because they either moved on or stayed there. He also confirms that the Scribe had a sister-in-law that took an amulet of protection belonging to his family and set out for the tower. The journey their and back takes about 3 days.
With this information Adventuring Party 6 set out on a reconnaissance mission for the tower. Beef prepares and packs a total of ten meat pies, with half to be used in negotiations, should the opportunity arise.
On their way out they notice that the job board includes a new posting about a missing priest of Macroblan who is suspected of having absconded with the order's riches from the temple in Specularum.
Additionally, they find Conrad locked in a stockade in the public square to be shamed. He begs to be released and the two are happy to leave them be.
April 29th
The party arrives at the Wizard's tower on April 29th 1000 AC and find the terrain around the tower unusually soft. They also find the corpse of an adventurer they suspect to have been the Scribe's sister-in-law, along with an amulet of protection. Olga offers the amulet to Beef as she is a more experienced adventurer. Further exploration of the grounds around the tower leads to discovering more bodies, some human animal hybrids. All of which seemed to have perished after exhausting their supplies.
The pair decide to leave and make camp at a safe distance from the tower. They travel all day on April 30th 1000 AC, they realize that they are unable to find the keep and make camp.
April 31st
They continue to travel on April 31st 1000 AC but make no discernable progress towards finding the keep. They fear the amulet is cursed and they bury it.
Suspecting foul magic a play, Beef keeps an eye out for any unusualy changes in the animals and his surroundings. He is the first to spot a creature with a fish shaped head, attempting to conceal itself deep in the forest.
After hiking for an hour without the amulet they are still unable to get their bearings and see another of the creatures. This time they try to confront it, but it runs away. The two adventurers apologetically pursue only to find themselves surrounded by these creatures.
The fish shaped heads are actually elaborate masks. When they remove them it reveals a creature that is nearly human, except for their silver disk like eyes that occupy the entire eye socket and are angled to the side, not forward.
The creature tells Beef, "You dropped this," as he hands him the amulet they had buried.
The party enters into negotiations with these strangers who call themselves Kalaans. They are lead back to the Kalaan village to speak with the elders who share their history with the pair of adventurers. Specifically, how the Kalaans are descendants of aquatic creatures from another dimension who were transformed into their current human-like bodies by the Shalathazar.
In their conversation the pair learn that the Kalaans were deceived by Conrad who had promised to return them to their ancestral home. All the Kalaans were present when he opened a magical doorway by drawing a door on the wall of a garden with unusually dark chalk. Only half of the Kalaans went through with Conrad. Upon returning to their village, the remaining Kalaans found it ransacked. A large amount of their gold coins, featuring three fish sharing a single eye, were stolen during this raid.
The remaining Kalaans understood that if the journey through the doorway was successful some of the Kalaans would return for the ones who remained behind in Mystara. However, the Kalaans have reason to believe that Conrad has returned, but none of their kindred have.
If Conrad can be brought to the Kalaans, along with any evidence that he was responsible, the Kalaans would be willing to perform a ritual that grants the ability to breathe underwater for a time. They also show interest and support for a raid on the aboleth itself.
The Kalaans escort the pair to a days journey away from the keep, before parting ways.
April 33rd
Olga and Beef return to the keep on April 33rd 1000 AC.
May 29th or May 30th
Beef is abducted by members of The Swans who intend to press him into work making his wonderful meat pies at their hideout. The trauma of the event causes him to suffer from Foreign Accent Syndrome, causing him to shift accents and sometimes even languages at random.
May 32nd
After traveling with his abductors (Eloquent Ellie, Jilly Lank, Nyx Lastname and Tankard Safecracker) on what they called "the long route", the group is stopped just after Midnight by three of Beef's favorite customers from Castallan Keep.
They initiate a diplomatic discussion for Beef's release, but aren't able to make any progress. Beef calls out that he is not here by choice.
Without warning, the elf, Jilly Lank casts Sleep on the three rescuers, which incapacitates two of them. The third one is commanded to move the bodies out of the way so the cart does not run over them. As this is happening Jilly casts Invisibility on Nyx Lastname.
As the cart passes his friends, Beef calls out:
Beware of Tankard Safecracker! And Firstname Nyx has gone invisible.
Shortly after the wagon passes he hears something from one of the rescuers who had succumbed to the sleep spell and then Ellie and Jilly both lose consciousness. Ellie, falls out of the wagon leaving them both in the road. The other rescuer shouts something about a curved ball. The commotion is enough to wake Tankard Safecracker.
One of the rescuers calls for an order of "duck" and Beef responds:
No, they are meat pies, not duck pies
Tankard is hit by an arrow in his shoulder. He heads toward the front of the cart to take control of the reigns, but Beef is able to block him for a few moments with his body even though his hands and feet are bound. He pretends to be trying to get out Tankard's way, but then awkwardly mirrors Tankards movements to get past.
One of his rescuers jumps into the moving cart and another runs along side it. Tankard is hit by another arrow. The rescuer in the cart moves past and attacks Tankard with a sword, which is enough to make him surrender.
After the rescuers let Tankard go they turn the cart south and ask Beef to explain what happened to him. Beef explains the abduction and how he too had fallen to the Sleep spell. He then shares some information he heard on his journey. There is a treasure room in a mansion. He interrupts his own explanation to say:
By the way you are my four best customers. What were your names again? Oh no matter...
Continuing on he says the treasure room is protected by magic traps. Also, the mansion has a garden that has the highly sought after purple habaneros, which would be great for his meat pies. And finally there is a wizard Uzul Balashi who is a very powerful druid who can control plants.
He also shares that Jilly tried to read his mind in order to gain his recipe for meat pies, but Beef doesn't think of it as a recipe. Instead he views it as something that is constantly being perfected, each time he prepares one, he does it differently.
The group eventually abandons the cart so they can hide in the hills, away from the road. With clever work done by Mira and Beatrix the party is able to successfully evade their pursuers.
Beatrix casts Invisibility on Beef so that way they can sneak him into the Keep without being detected by any swans stationed there. Beef becomes anxious about his invisibility and instinctively talks louder , despite being told that it is counter productive.
May 33rd
Adventuring Party 9 travels back in the direction of Castallan Keep. While traveling Eloquent Ellie's Journal and Jilly Lank's Journal are read.
From Jilly's notes they learn that she was recently recruited into The Swans specifically for her mind reading capabilities. This was because The Swans had encountered an elf at the keep which they suspect was reading the minds of their members and they wanted to match that capability. The abduction of of Beef the Meaty was her first mission. She did not get along with Eloquent Ellie and was actively plotting ways to murder her.
From Ellie's journal was detailed about planning missions and they learn the name Phrynia who is influential with the leader of the swans. Phrynia's wanted more meat pies after tasting the ones that Ellie, Shieldbasher, and Nyx Lastname returned to camp with after attending a birthday party during their time at the keep. So the leader, Dominguos de Bellehache, ordered Beef's abduction.
There are coded notes which they are able to determine are the early stages of a plan to frame Jilly for some act of betrayal of the swans. This was driven because Ellie was incapable of trusting anyone who could read minds.